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The Best CrossFit Jokes

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B​y this point, you’ve no doubt heard some great CrossFit jokes. Whether it’s from your unaffiliated friends, TV shows or comedy specials, or within your own box; jokes targeting our beloved fitness hobby ring true just enough to have a chuckle – once we recover our lung capacity enough to laugh, that is.

T​he first I ever heard, and perhaps the most popular, is the Fight Club joke:

“The fist rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.”

-Tyler Durden

CrossFit takes a different approach: the first rule of CrossFit is tell every single person that you do CrossFit. Talk about CrossFit until you are blue in the face, then take a breath, and talk more about CrossFit.

Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash

I​t’s a great joke and let’s face it, we earned it. Blame the endorphins from a great workout. Blame it on the fun you have with such a great community. Blame it on the pride you feel after PR’ing your back squat – we’re excited, and we just can’t hide it! Is it so wrong that we want to tell our friends, our family, our co-workers, people in line at the grocery store, people next to us at a red light, and Amazon delivery people that we’re getting a great workout, having fun, and want them to join us? Join us!

The first rule of CrossFit is talk about CrossFit!

College Humor got us back in 2014, seven years after the first CrossFit Games had thrust the sport into the spotlight. Even in 2021, these jokes still hit home. First they hit the classic Fight Club joke mentioned above. Then, they dig deeper…The exercise catchphrases on their tank tops are hilarious. Go to any CrossFit box and you’ll see colorful tanks and tees all sporting clever phrasing having something to do with exercise. When one of the CrossFitters count reps in ‘photos to Instagram’, we should all blush – that’s most of us! The actors also vomit every other minute. I thought this was excessive until I remembered my first holiday workout at Dark Horse, and though I didn’t puke myself, I witnessed how ‘tossing your cookies’ can be just part of a good workout. At any box you’ll hear someone say something like, “Did you throw up? No? Then you’re not pushing hard enough.”

M​y new favorite sneaked into an episode of What We Do in the Shadows. Guillermo, the vampire’s henchman, is on a mission to find the tastiest cuisine for his masters – virgins. To a vampire, virgin blood is the ultimate delicacy, and also difficult to find in this modern world. Guillermo searches through all the obvious nerd groups; college Christian chastity groups and Monty Python fan clubs, but strikes gold when he discovers CrossFit gyms are full of tasty virgins. His explanation: no one will touch them, because they won’t shut up about CrossFit. 

D​o you see a connecting theme here? Okay, we talk excessively about CrossFit – we’re passionate! We also have a wonderful community of like-minded friends that encourage and support us while we’re getting in a great workout together. What’s not to celebrate and shout from the mountain tops? I think these jokes simply expose how wonderful CrossFit is. We wouldn’t be so devoted to it if it wasn’t wonderful. We wouldn’t want to tell everyone about and encourage them to join us if it wasn’t a positive and joyful experience. And contrary to the comedy, we can totally live a normal life without talking and thinking about CrossFit all the time – now I got to wrap up this article, I’m late for a WOD!

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